Tuesday, April 22, 2014

When Your God-Sized Dream Involves Your Greatest Fear

I haven’t always been afraid to fly.  I actually grew up flying.  And I loved it.  Every part of it.  Take off, landing, everything.

In elementary school, on a trip to Hawaii, we visited many of the various islands, and I don’t know how many times we took off and landed, just on that trip alone.  

But once I had kids, something changed.

And then September 11th happened.

And then a flight to Miami, in the world's tiniest plane (that was probably only a glider in disguise) nearly brought me to my knees.  That trip ended with a rental car being driven back north...because hours in the car were much better than dying in the Florida swamp, covered in palmetto bugs, after a fiery crash.  (Palmetto bugs - my other great fear…)

Since then, every now and then, I’ve had to fly.  So, I do it, but I’m not happy about it.  God gets me through, but there is no part of me that enjoys any of it or the head and chest cold I usually get as a souvenir.

My husband even got his pilot’s license a few years ago...and I’ve yet to go up.  I told him the only way I would go is if his dad was in the cockpit, or our pastor.  My thinking, of course, is that his dad was a pilot in the Marine Corps and could surely stop any crash from happening.  And I have a funny feeling we're still such a motley crew, that God isn't taking our pastor away now, so that plane would stay up...

Hey, just trying to stack the odds….

Well, you know when you just *know* something?  And it doesn’t make much sense at the time, but you know?  Maybe you trust a few people with this secret, maybe you don’t.  Either way, you don’t have much to back it up, except a feeling deep inside.  

Well, I’ve known 2014 would be the year to fly. To surrender this fear.

Except, wasn’t that just dumb?  Where would I go, because PRAISE GOD, the Allume conference moved to South Carolina, the very year I began to go! And I'd also managed to convince myself I might be able to live my whole life and not see France or Italy.  If that wasn’t proof that I would never, ever - EVER, NEVER - need to fly, I don’t know what was?  Yet, I just knew.

I knew God was calling me to hand over this fear that had controlled me.  So, I did.  

And wouldn’t you know it, then He called me to fly.  Funny how that works, huh?  But the reasons why have His fingerprints so all over them, that I couldn’t say no, even if I wanted to.  

This Friday, I’ll be flying to Houston, to meet with the Godsizeddreams.com website team.  We’ll be planning, and laughing, and celebrating how God has moved in this last year.  (While the site actually launched in December, it’s been in the works for almost a year.)  Even the gathering itself is such a huge blessing, that only He could bring about.

Shortly after returning from Houston, I’ll be going on a mission trip with our church.  I’ve always considered myself more of a “sender” - as in, “I’ll stand on the shore, and seek God and pray, while YOU set sail to spread the Good News!” but, whew, if God didn’t knock that long-held belief on it’s ear.  

We’ll be going to Jamaica, to love on His people there.  It will have been 30 years - give or take - since I’ve been there, and on much different terms.  Then, it was with my mom and dad, and I was feeling quite safe!  This time, well, I don’t think I can talk my mom into it and never mind her passport probably expired in 1958.

So, another flight.

Another chance for God’s glory.

{I am sweating just typing it.  So, there will be much glory for Him, if this big chicken survives, of that I’m certain.}

Sometimes our God-sized dreams involve our greatest fears.  

Wait, let me try that again.  

Usually our God-sized dreams involve our greatest fears.  But something happens when we surrender even those.

{Don't ask me what - I'll let you know when I get back...oh, please, no palmetto bugs.}


Linking up with other God-sized dreamers, at www.Godsizeddreams.com - won't you join us?

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

When Your Miracle Walks Beside You

Last Friday was a difficult day for many bloggers.  Those who tossed their hat into the (in)courage ring, hoping and praying they might be one of the five chosen for a permanent position on their writing roster.

I can’t imagine what a difficult decision it was for those at (in)courage.  475 applied, and only 5 could be picked.  

The "no" emails went out on Friday morning. {And yes, one wiggled it's way into my inbox! Darn!}

Later that day, a friend’s words got caught in my ears. She was explaining her sadness over receiving one of the no emails, “I had so hoped that this was it…”

I couldn’t place exactly how I was familiar with the phrase, but I knew I’d said the very same words.  Many times.  In prayer, in tears, in conversations…

And then yesterday I remembered...  

It was the story of the walk to Emmaus.  Two disciples were walking and discussing their sadness over the crucifixion and how hope seemed lost.

The chief priests and our rulers handed him over 
to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; 
but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel.
And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place.”

They had hoped.

Had.  (Past tense.)

Oh, that point when hope is gone.  When it’s past tense.  When the thing you think is it, turns out not to be…

It’s simply heartbreaking.  

Here’s something I noticed. Those disciples?  They were in the process of walking with their Miracle.  (Present tense.)

Jesus was walking with them, talking to them even, but they couldn’t see Him.  Not until the time was right and their eyes were opened.

I prayed those verses back to God at times when it felt like my dreams were shattered. It was the only thing that gave me comfort. Now I know, just beyond those times, God had so much in store for me.

I was walking beside my Miracle, not always aware of it.

Despite a broken heart, is it possible you could be walking beside your Miracle?  Deep in the midst of His presence, even though hope might feel lost?  

For you, sweet friend, who hoped {past tense}, He is there {present tense}. Right now. Every step of the way.


"I've learned that God sometimes allow us to find ourselves in a place where we want something so bad that we can't see past it.  Sometimes we can't even see God because of it.  When we want something that bad, it's easy to mistake what we truly need for the thing we really want. When this sort of thing happens, and it seems to happen to everyone, I've found it's because what God has for us is obscured from view, just around another bend in the road.
-- Bob Goff,  Love Does (affiliate link)

Photo Credit: marfis75 via Compfight cc

Thursday, March 20, 2014

When God Sends You Flowers

It had been one heck of a day.  One of those when it just didn't seem proactive enough to take it to Jesus.  

One of those days when, even though you know we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood, you’d like to give that flesh and blood a real piece of your mind.

You don’t feel like making nice-nice for one more minute.  Because enough is enough. Because, in that moment, even though you’ve seen how powerful prayer is, it would feel a lot better to do something more immediate. 

Immediate feels like the only answer. 

But you can almost see the enemy erupt in cheers, so you stop.

Piling your pain up high, you take it all to God.  But if you're honest, deep down a nagging question lingers, “What will He do about it?”  

A few minutes later - calm enough to step foot into the grocery store - that’s when it happens.

“Ma’am?” says the voice of a girl.


“My friend and I decided to do random acts of kindness today….and I wanted to give you these.”

She places the yellow flowers in your hand.

They come complete with a sticker, “Random act of Kindness”

They are just what you need.

You smile big, knowing there was nothing random about this act of kindness. 

"I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
Psalm 16:8 (NIV)

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

For Those with an Interesting Story

A couple years ago, I stumbled upon the website of a Christian speaker.  I clicked on the link encouraging readers to write in and ask for prayer.  Brand new to this wild adventure with God, I typed up an email and explained just a tiny bit of my story, as well as a small part of what God had recently been up to. I requested prayer for the immense fear I was feeling.    

And I’ll never forget the opening words I received in return.:

“What an interesting email.”



I’m not sure how she meant it of course, but to me, at the time, it sounded like the pressured response of a husband, who feels he must comment on his wife's new haircut.  

Only a haircut gone so very wrong.

“OH!  Just look at that hair!  Um, WOW!”

I was just crushed by it.

The words were set on repeat in my mind.

“...interesting email.”

"Well, look at that life - the tiny bit you shared! Um, just look at that! It's so, well, interesting!" Is not at all what she said, but it's what I heard.

Nearly shutting me down.

For sometime after, each time God would call me to take another step further into my faith journey, the words would creep up on me, “...interesting email.”

Here’s how the enemy translated those two words:

Not good enough for God to use.
Too broken.
Settle back down and be happy with where you are.
Who are you to step out for God, little Mrs. “Interesting?"

I didn’t tell anyone about the email, because what if the enemy was right?  Just, what if?

Yet, God kept me going.  Sending me confirmation after confirmation that He could use even the most interesting of stories.

And now I can say I’m so glad.  That’s not to say I didn’t get down.  Didn’t have days, sometimes weeks, that felt like they might break me.  But had I believed the enemy, I would have missed out on so much.

What words are set on repeat, in your life today? What lie is the enemy trying to shut you down with?

Whatever the enemy is whispering, whoever he is trying to work through, shake it off, and keep going.  God has things you simply won’t believe on the other side.  Hide the Word of God in your heart. And ask Jesus what He thinks about you.

As I walked with God, I began to see His translation of what the enemy hissed:

Not good enough for God to use.

Too broken. 

Settle back down and be happy with where you are. 

Who are you to step out for God, little Mrs. “Interesting”?  

God can use a cupbearer (Nehemiah) to the King to rebuild walls - so if He is calling - Go!

Oh, friend, I've seen it played out in my life over and over, no matter where you are right now, or what you are thinking might disqualify you, God can use you to do mighty things.  No story has been too "interesting" - in fact, from what I've seen - the more interesting - the more glory it brings to God!  Just think of Moses, the woman at the well, and Paul, to name only a few. 

So, if God is calling, GO!  Don't waste time doubting because of anything in your past or listening to lies that say you're somehow not good enough.   God loves those with interesting stories!    

Photo Credit: Gueоrgui via Compfight cc
Graphics: Living Joel 2:25

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Winter Eventually Ends

Crikey, do I love Spring.  You know that all out joyful dance Snoopy does?  That’s how it makes me feel to see the first buds on the trees and the daffodils start to poke their way up.  

I’ve always loved Spring, but it took going through the worst Winter to truly be able to see it’s beauty.

Amy Grant once asked Minnie Pearl what her favorite color was.  “Black,” Minnie replied.  Amy thought it odd, until Minnie explained, “Without black, nothing has any depth. It's when you mix black with every other color that you can create fullness and shape.”

That’s how I feel about the green of Spring.  Without having seen the black, I never would have known just how green the grass really is.  

I remember that particular Spring, following the darkest winter, and thinking, “I’ll never take this for granted again.” Winter tried it's best, but it didn’t crush us.   

If you’re still in the dark of Winter, and you’ve yet to see the flowers show signs of life, never mind the green of any grass, you are who I’m writing for today.  It may be hard to believe that joy is on it’s way, but it is.  Some seasons may last longer than others, but none of them last forever.  God has you.  He sees every tear you cry.  Not one is wasted.  And out of this, will bloom so much good.  It will bring Him glory unimaginable.

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV)
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:” 
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

Linking up with Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart series.  Won't you join us there?

Friday, February 28, 2014

Because You Are A Trailblazer

Dear Trailblazing Dreamer,

You’ve been on my mind a lot lately.  Every time I think of that word - trailblazer - I think of you.

The one who is leading the way.  Risking it all, by stepping out in boldly.

Carving a path where there is none.

Maybe the first one in your group of friends to do so.  To break the mold of “pretty faith” - revealing the beauty in the broken.  Showing how real His promises of redemption are.

Or perhaps you are the first in your family to take Jesus at His word.  To step out when He called.  To risk strange looks, laughter, or even being shunned.

It’s hard, tiring work at times.  Especially at the end of particularly difficult days, when you’ve weathered other people’s doubts and fears {not to mention your own}. When it’s all you can do to make it to bed, completely spent, when you start to wonder.  “I hope I'm on the right path..." because this is harder than you ever could have imagined.

But you wake up the next day, only to start again, not knowing where you’re called, simply recognizing the call and trusting you’re never alone.

You were on my heart when I wrote for God-sized Dreams.com today.  You can click here to read it.

Please know, I am praying for you.  

How can I be in prayer for you this weekend, trailblazer? 

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Maybe He's Building Your God-Sized Dream Right Now

When God dropped the God-sized Dream website bomb on me, (that I was to start it - and trust the support would come - rather than wait for someone else to start it) I couldn’t believe it for a number of reasons.

My protests went a little like this:

1.)  This was not the God-sized dream I was expecting - not in my WILDEST dreams - and hello, I’m a wild dreamer.

2.)  God, I don’t lead.  Like, at all.  Ever.  (Unless it’s into a Dunkin’ Donuts...then I'm all, "Fearless is my name! I'll lead the charge!")

3.)  Who in the world is ever going to jump on board?

There is a funny thing about God-sized dreams.  The dreams God gives us, we are not enough for, on our own.  Away from Him.  He takes us through the situations we need to go through, to build up exactly what we need.  Also, He brings the right people to work alongside us.

But, here’s the scary part.  

It didn’t happen automatically - at least not for me.  First, I had to lay it all down.  Like every single fear - even my biggest ones.  And say, “Even that, Jesus, even that...I trust You with it all...I will go wherever You lead.”

{And some of those fears, I’d prayed for deliverance from for years.  So I don’t say that lightly.}

But when God moves, look out.

Look out.

Without me even realizing it, He had been creating relationships that would help with the God-sized dream He was growing in my heart.  

The year prior, I’d met and was {e}coached by, not just a God-sized dreamer, but Holley Gerth, the one who literally wrote the book on God-sized dreaming.  {Long before I even realized she had a book coming out on God-sized dreams!}

The same year, God also saw to it that I’d become friends with Gindi Vincent - someone who, again, unbeknownst to me, was about to have her book published.  The title?  “Learning to Lead

To quote a dear friend, Delonna, “Whaaaaaaat?”

God brought the ladies who literally wrote the books on God-sized dreaming and on leading to support this dream He birthed in me.  He provided all I needed.

Not to mention, at the same time, He was also building a team of God-sized dreamers, who would grab hold of the vision and gladly jump on board - despite having a Gideon-type (which way to the winepress?!) leader!

God was creating the structure He was about to build His dream for my life on. And I didn't realize it. (<==== Click to tweet)  

(And I'll take it step further, I whined at times that it felt like nothing was even happening...)

Isn’t that just like Him??

Photo Credit: REVIVALthedigest


Linking up with the God-sized dreamers today...won’t you join us?